Love Anew
by hptriviachamp
Summary: There are certain things... certain things that transcend all meaning and time, and perhaps this is one of them. Love is an inexplicable thing- he was once so reluctant to give it a label, but now… For her, he's willing to catch and sing the sun itself in flight. (Companion fic to "Again", from Ian's POV).


**Love Anew**

She sees him first. He's briskly making his way down the street wondering where the _bloody hell_ his driver as as his phone rings once more and he is accosted by yet another mundane and frankly idiotic question from his assistant who he's _really_ considering firing.

Now he's stopped at the pedestrian stop sign and has just cut the call despite his assistant's protests and is internally cursing the gods when-

"Ian?"

He practically whirls around at the sound of that voice, and barely has a moment to compose himself before he speaks.

"Amy."

She looks flustered, but is doing an admirable job of composing herself as he falls into step next to her.

"It's been…"

"Too long," He finishes.

 _Three years, five months, and twenty-one days, to be exact._

He struggles with himself for a moment, wondering what to say- what to ask someone who vanished seemingly off the face of the Earth (the Cahill world, at any rate).

He settles for something simple:

"Tell me, how are you?"

Her reply, to no one's surprise, gives scant detail.

She's on her way back from class, apparently.

"You attend Columbia then?" He guesses.

"Yeah," Amy smiles suddenly, and he knows that despite whatever she was running away from, it has done her some good being here.

"I assume you're not here to go to school?"

She's eying him curiously, and he feels the urge to smile, but then he remembers exactly why he's in New York.

"Afraid not. I'm here on branch business."

She looks shocked for a moment by the casual mention of anything related to the Cahills, but to her credit, manages a somewhat sympathetic, "I can't imagine how it must be- branch leader at your age."

He looks at her strangely. Has she forgotten what it was like already?

 _Has she moved on?_

"I'm sure you know. You once shouldered more responsibility than any of us."

If she had previously hid how she really felt, all that melts away when he says those words.

She looks absolutely haunted- tortured- and he can very well imagine what she's thinking, because he's assailed by similar visions- His mother, father, _Natalie_ -

No, she's forgotten nothing, and neither has he.

And in a moment, she looks absolutely fine, and invites him to get dinner with her.

* * *

Amy Cahill once used to the sun to him- brilliant and beautiful in every way, the light of his life.

Back when he was a teenage boy and he truly believed that silly things like "crushes" and "feelings" were FLO (for losers only- not that he'll ever admit to even having an acronym for it), Amy was different.

Ah yes, the "different" girl who inevitably charms even the man with a heart of stone. She had certainly fit that bill back then: she had been a shy, blushing, stuttering mess at first, but of course, he'd found that charming in its own way.

What was it he had called her that fateful moment in that cave in Korea?

 _Lovely_.

She's never looked lovelier than tonight, he finds himself thinking wistfully as they slide into a booth, sitting across from each other as a friendly waitress comes over and addresses Amy by her name.

Once their orders have arrived, they make small talk, silly chit-chat really, but it fuels the conversation, making it much less awkward, almost like they've always done this.

It's going quite well, until-

"You know, you were my first crush." The words have clearly slipped out of her mouth, and she's blushing furiously like she did as a fourteen year old, and he feels the urge to comfort her- to tell her it's fine.

(And in no small part because he may or may not have harbored similar feelings himself).

He decides to deftly steer the conversation to spare her the embarrassment, especially if she's not ready to say anything further.

So they talk about the old times- Dan, Hamilton and perhaps his own (slightly shady) involvement with some badly-lit fireworks going off in the old Cahill house. She laughs and he smiles as the reminiscence about the past.

How young they were back then!

He says as much, but internally, he's still amazed at where they are now.

(Frankly, he's amazed that most of them managed to survive at all. His heart twinges at the thought of Natalie.)

Soon, a comfortable silence settles over the two of them, and he can't help but examine her expression, drink in every feature that he had once memorized.

She's grown- of course she has. He had already seen her blossom from a shy girl to a fiercely strong, confident woman who would do anything to protect those she loved the most.

Something's changed about her since then, but he's not quite sure what it is.

If Amy Cahill was once the sun, now she is the moon- far more beautiful with much more depth, and infinitely more mysterious in its darkness. He feels like he's describing something out of Wordsworth or Shelley, but this is her.

This is real.

The scars of their past may slashed across both their flesh, jagged, but there is no denying this- that this is real.

This is everything he has ever wanted and more, and he's never been more sure of the future.

 _Strange_.

They say that it's often the woman's mind that jumps rapidly, but in this case, it's his. It's for her that he thinks, for her that he plans, her that he loves and has always loved-

-but she's not ready for that.

Not yet, at least.

But there are certain things... certain things that transcend all meaning and time, and perhaps this is one of them. Love is an inexplicable thing- he was once so reluctant to give it a label, but now…

For her, he's willing to catch and sing the sun itself in flight.

"And Amy?" Her startled emerald eyes make contact with his, and now he's never been more sure.

"You were my first crush too."

* * *

 _This is the first chapter of my main story "Again" from Ian's point of view. As "Again" progresses, if I have any ideas I want to present from Ian's POV, I'll publish it here._

 _Oh, and a few references I made in here:_

 _1) "They say that it's often the woman's mind that jumps rapidly..." is taken from a Jane Austen quote from "Pride and Prejudice"._

 _2) "It's for her that he thinks, for her that he plans," is based off of a line Frederick Wentworth's famous love letter in JA's "Persuasion"._

 _3) "Catch and sing the sun in flight" based off of Dylan Thomas's poem, "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night"._


End file.
